DECEMBER 2018

The twenty-sixth day of December;

In the seven thousand one hundred and ninetieth year of the creation of the world from the time when God in the beginning created heaven and earth;

The four thousand nine hundred and forty-eighth year after the flood;

The four thousand and sixth year from the birth of Abraham;

The  three thousand five hundred and first year from Moses and the going forth of the people of Israel from Egypt;

The three thousand and twenty-third year from David’s being anointed king;

The two thousand seven hundred and forty-third year from the foundation of the city of Rome;

The two hundred and twenty-eighth year from the foundation of the city of St. Louis;

The two hundred and sixteenth year of American independence;

The one hundred and eighty-ninth year of the purchase by the United States of the Louisiana Territory;

The one hundred and seventy-first year of Missouri statehood;

The year preceding the twenty-second modern Olympiad (there having been no Olympiad in 1916, 1940 or 1944);

The third year of the presidency of George H. W. Bush;

The third year of Thomas Foley’s tenure as speaker of the House of Representatives;

The third month of Clarence Thomas’s service on the Supreme Court;

The third year of John Ashcroft’s second term as governor of Missouri;

The third year of Vincent Schoemehl’s third term as mayor of St. Louis;

With consumers in St. Louis clamoring for variety, The Schlafly Tap Room officially opened for business, the first new brewery to do so in St. Louis since the adoption of the Eighteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, under which Prohibition had become the law of the land.

Since the opening of The Schlafly Tap Room on December 26, 1991, there have been five Presidents of the United States; six Speakers of the United States House of Representatives (one of whom is likely to regain the office of speaker in January of 2019); eight governors of Missouri; and five mayors of St. Louis.  Clarence Thomas, who had been on the Supreme Court just over two months when we opened, is now the most senior justice on the Court.

The Supreme Court is of particular interest now because a lawyer in New Jersey has publicly announced his intention to take his case against Schlafly Beer in front of the High Court.  I am not making this up.

As some alert readers (ARs) undoubtedly remember,  back in 2012 several people named Schlafly (all of whom had acquired the name after I did) challenged our right to get a federal trademark for the name under which more than a hundred million servings of beer have been sold in 18 states plus the District of Columbia.  They claimed that the name Schlafly referred “uniquely and unmistakably” to one of them. Seriously.  I’m guessing this argument would come as a surprise to all of the ARs and others who have been ordering Schlafly for over a quarter century.  Also to the bartenders and servers who have brought beers to customers, not realizing what the name supposedly really meant.

Over the years their claims have been rejected by every tribunal before which they have been argued, most recently by the Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit, which ruled against them three to zero.  This court’s opinion is significant in pointing out that “No law or precedent suggests” that the arguments put forth by these other Schlaflys have any validity whatsoever. It also rejected the other Schlaflys’ claim that registering our trademark somehow violated their Constitutional rights under the First and Fifth Amendments.

Heading to the Supreme Court?

Undeterred by this string of losses, the New Jersey attorney for the other Schlaflys has been quoted as saying he intends to appeal this decision to the Supreme Court. Presumably he plans to ask the Court to write new articles in the Constitution that were never contemplated by the framers nor discernible to any legal scholars since 1787.  If heaven and earth could be created out of nothing 7,216 years ago, why not create a few new Constitutional provisions out of nothing?

Tom Schlafly

Chairman – The Saint Louis Brewery